War Eagle! (finally)

We Won! Homecoming! WHEW! Cause everyone knows we were worried.



It was great fun on the Plains yesterday! We stayed at the Mistletoe Bough B&B and drove over to Auburn for the game. The innkeepers were so nice and we will definitely be staying there again!

You couldn't have asked the Weather Gods for better weather for the game. It was perfect football weather.

And finally, there was a use for toilet paper in Auburn!



Joking people!.....kinda.

I thought it would be funny to take a pic of Mr. Twisted at the game. He told me to destroy all the evidence. So here is a pic cause I listen...and all. I blacked his face out. See the headphones? He is also wearing an Alabama shirt under his jacket. It makes me feel like the enemy is among us and we didn't have a clue!



We left at halftime since the Oldest Boy would not be on the field for the halftime show (homecoming) and because I wanted Mr. Twisted to see the rest of the Alabama LSU game which turned into a real nail-biter.

We landed at the Skybar Cafe, which was a little misleading since they only served alcohol and after dark, pizza.



It's a true, college town, dive. And look what was written on the wall in the girls bathroom.



They are everywhere!

I must luv you.

Here it is:

We have tickets to the Auburn Homecoming game against Tennessee-Martin. When we bought the tickets in July, 1. They were cheap. 2. We had the weekend to ourselves 3. Alabama still sucked and Auburn didn't so much.

If you haven't read my previous posts, I have been an Auburn fan since moving here in 1979 when Alabama fans were the most obnoxious. Mr. Twisted is an Alabama fan. We both graduated from UAB so that makes us even, and I throw in a little Kentucky Wildcat luv from my youth.

Alabama fans are beginning to become obnoxious again. They don't really realize it. It's not the same as other teams' fans, Alabama fans carry it to a whole new level.

Now, while I am not ready to believe that Alabama will beat Auburn this year, Bama does suck less.

Which brings me to the game tomorrow. We will be in the stands watching the Oldest Boy in the Auburn Band.

Mr. Twisted: "I can't believe I am going to be sitting in the stands at Jordan Hare Stadium on the day that they play Tennessee Martin with Auburn's record at 4-5."
Me: "This was the game you wanted to go to."
Mr. Twisted: "Yeah but Alabama is #1 in the BCS and this is the first time since blah blah blah, Saban was blah blah blah, LSU, regular season, blah blah blah.
Me: "It will be okay, you can bring the little TV.
Mr. Twisted: (blank stare)
Me: (staring back)
Mr. Twisted: "I must really luv you. I wouldn't do this for anyone else."
Me: "Awww, that's so sweet.

How much can he complain about it tomorrow before he gets smacked?

War Eagle!!

Negative reinforcement or just the truth?

Sometimes kids make you want to choke them.

The Youngest Boy failed the Alabama State Exit Exam in math.

The exit exams are something that Alabama has decided we needed because from some reason kids are graduating from High School who can't read, do math, go figure.

Administrator: "We have a problem, Youngest Boy didn't pass the Math portion on the exit exam."
Me: "What?" (cause as you can imagine...they are not that difficult)
Admin: "Yeah, it wasn't even close."
Me: "I had no idea, what are we going to do?"
Admin: "We will provide tutoring 3 days per week after school."
Me: "Okay, let's do it."

Conversation with Youngest Boy after school.

Me: "You didn't pass the exit exam in math, you are going to be tutored 3 days a week."
Boy: "WHAT??? I DIDN'T Even TRY! Why do I have to be tutored?"
Me: "Because you didn't pass the exit exam."
Boy: "I didn't even TRY!"
Me: "Why wouldn't you try?"
Boy: "Because I have like 2 years to take it."
Me: "But once you PASS IT, YOU DON'T EVER HAVE TO TAKE IT AGAIN!"
BOY: "But I know all the stuff on it!"
Me: "Apparently YOU DON'T. What did you do then when you took the test?"
Boy: "I just filled in the circles. Why do I have to be tutored?"
Me: "Because this is called, "There are always consequences for your actions."
BOY: "But I didn't know it MATTERED!"
Me: "Now you do!"

Help me out here.

You get to stay home when the other kids have to go to school and finish re-taking exit exams...why in the HELL would someone deliberately FAIL?

I went to a long time friend who happens to also be named Lisa. She is a substitute teacher, the only thing worse than a substitute teacher is a substitute bus driver.

Me: "Why in the world would he do that?"
Lisa: "Well, at least he fills in the bubbles, kids at our school just put their heads down on the desk and sleep."
Me: "Don't their parents ever ask what the HELL is going on?"
Lisa: "No."
Me: "So they spend 13 years in school so they can get an attendance diploma because they wanted to sleep through the test."
Lisa: "Pretty much."

Conversation with Youngest Boy (who is about to get his ass beat)
Me: "SO, you just filled in the bubbles. Then what did you do? Lay your head down on your desk?"
BOY: "Pretty much." (now I am taking pleasure in the fact he has to be tutored 3 day s a week...how bout making it 5??)

Me: "So what do you do when your boy reveals this to you?"
Lisa: "Well, I made Josh write 200 times, "Will that be paper or plastic?" and it worked, when he starts slacking I start making him repeat the phrase, "Do you want fries with that...Do you want fries with that?" Works every time."

Where is the paper?

Inspiring

I love this video. After my previous post of the screen shot I took today I needed something uplifting, and here it is.

MSNBC, I'm outraged and speechless!

Here is the twitpic

Home Alone

Mr. Twisted is away on business tonight. In Phoenix of all places, the same city where MCCain just gave his concession speech.

I have a few fond memories of my childhood, all seem to have something to do with food. One such memory is my father going out of town and our whole grain, no sugar, no junk food, no fast food, diet going out of the window.

And out the window it did go.

I remember when Honey Nut Cheerios came out! It was the only sugary cereal we were allowed to eat. Cheerios, Grapenuts (rocks with milk) and Shredded Wheat were the only cereals in our house. I just skipped breakfast. I was 5'9 and 118 lbs. I was never in danger of being overweight...*sigh* the good 'ol days.

So when Dad went out of town, Mom took us to the store and we bought candy bars, potato chips, and anything else that stuck our fancy. But there was one caveat, it had to be gone by the time the business trip was over...one way or the other (stuffed in our face or stuffed in the garbage).

It's not exactly the same in the Twisted House tonight. But I will say one thing, there will be NO COOKING til maybe Sunday! WOOO HOOO!

Tuesday Night - Eat Out
Wednesday Night - Halloween Candy
Thursday - Pizza
Friday - Fast Food
Saturday - Hot Dogs in Jordan Hare Stadium

We live in AL-UH-BAMA!

There was a purse snatching in my local Wal-Mart parking lot. On a Sunday morning no less.

A friend saw this as it happened. A woman cam out of the store with her full buggy, unlocked her doors and placed her purse on the front passenger seat. She went to the back of the car to put her purchases in the trunk. A young white male ran up to the car, opened her door and grabbed her purse. She screamed as he started running to a car driven by another young white male.

Out of no where, a good Samaritan started to chase the purse snatcher and as he was getting into the get-away car, he was tackled to the ground. The man who tackled him then pulled a handgun out of his pants and held it to the thief's head. The police arrived and both the thief and the driver were taken into custody.

HoooRah!

I told Mr. Twisted the story and he said:

Mr: So, he must have been an undercover cop.
Me: Why do you say that?
Mr: Cause he happened to be carrying a gun on a Sunday morning in the Wal-Mart parking lot.
Me: Babe, we live in AL-UH-BAMA, I think there are more armed citizens around here than you think! They just don't all carry shotguns!

Daylight Savings

What is it anyway? We don't really save anything, you can only get a certain number of daylight hours in a day, who cares what it says on the clock?

It's a huge experiment probably dreamed up by some crafty aliens...can't you see them up there? "Hey let's see what happens if we change the clocks...oooh, they all do the same thing only one hour off!" Like little Lemmings.

I don't mind it in the Summer, but there are more Daylight hours in the Summer.

Now instead of it being dark when I get up in the morning, it's going to be dark when I go to class at night. It's hard enough to go to class now...it makes it super hard when it's cold and you would rather be snuggling with Mr. Twisted and drinking a Cosmo.

That brings me to the smoke alarms.

When Mr. Twisted and I went to El Paso, the Oldest Boy came home for the weekend. He spent the night here one night alone. When I realized this (7 am before our 10am flight) I ran to the store to buy some batteries for the smoke alarms. I know what you are saying but you can't ever STOP being a MOM!

I knew that the batteries hadn't been changed since Mr. Twisted and I got married, 2 YEARS AGO!

I bought 2 batteries. I didn't realize there were 3 alarms. Oh well. They are all wired together so it should be okay, right?

Mr. Twisted changed the one on the top floor.

Mr. Twisted changed the one on the middle floor. All the while complaining praising me for thinking about this detail at the last minute when we were rushing to get to the airport and it was pouring down rain outside.

He puts the stepladder up and we hear "chirp". Okay that's good, they work...

Grabbing stuff, throwing stuff in my bag (I had all my clothes packed but my computer stuff? Geez, I have to check the blogs in the morning, right?)

A few minutes later "Chirp"

Mr. Twisted looks at me, "Is that the smoke alarm?"
Me: "Uh Yeah"
Mr. Twisted: "They were working fine til you made me mess with them!"
Me: "Only if by 'working' you mean...DEAD."

Mr. Twisted then gets the stepladder out again and plays with the detector still bitching complimenting me on my intuitive nature.

"Chirp"

Mr. Twisted: "We don't have TIME for this!"

Keep in mind, we have a 25 minute drive to the airport, our flight leaves at 10:30 and it's 8:15. I am now understanding why it didn't go off the last time I burned something in the kitchen. (A.D.D and cooking sometimes don't mix)

He puts the old dead working battery back in and says, "There."

And we leave. Fortunately, there was no fire while we were gone.

A few days later,

"Chirp"

Mr. Twisted: "Is that the smoke alarm in the basement?"
Me: "uh yeah"
Mr Twisted "sigh, we are OUT of batteries" and this is all your fault. we could have just died in a fire like normal people who don't change the batteries in their smoke detectors.

So I go to the store and buy 2 more 9 volt batteries. I come home and the cats are freaking out because they can't find the bird that has taken residence in the Bat Cave and taunts them every 5 minutes with a "chirp".

I replace the dead working battery on the main level and then replace the battery in the basement. And all is right with the world.

This morning:

Mr. Twisted: "Time to set the clocks back."
Me: "Do you think we should change the batteries in the smoke detectors?"

The cats are eating the zombie hair

Well, they are. We brought all the Halloween decorations inside but they haven't been put up yet.

For some reason the cats have decided that the fake hair on the Zombie heads are yummy. Do I really have to buy them decent cat food at this point???

I promised some pics of the house for Halloween. Here they are. I wish I had a video to go along with it but the Youngest Boy bogarted my video capture thingy right after I bought it and I can't find all the stuff that goes with it.

We put one of the amps we have in the window and play creepy sounds and music on Halloween.

All of the kids said our house was the best of the houses they had been to. So, that prompted me to go to Wal-Mart this morning for a few things we 'needed'.

I thought my buggy looked so funny when I got to the car, I took a pic.



See the little man in the buggy? The look on his face? That is the exact same face Mr. Twisted made when he saw the new stuff. But honestly, the decorations on the house were 'bottom heavy', we needed some window stuff at the top right?

October 31st!

Halloween is over.

The trick-or-treaters went home around 9p.m.

Decorations are in the garage, waiting to be put up, and I have to re-decorate my blog. It's October 31st, and my 31st post of October.

Blog Material?

I got nothing.

We Were The 80's

This will be a first for me. I am getting 4 things accomplished just by starting with one!

First, it's 80's Day over at Wheresmyangels!



Second, I have been tagged by Jennifer so I am going to pass it along in this post.

Third, it's my post of the day. One more day and I will have blogged every day during the month of October! It was not easy guys.



Fourth, I found something I was looking for when I started to round up my 80's memorabilia!

SO here is is my tribute to the 80's



I was a techno geek even back then. I got my first CD player (and the first portable CD player made) for my birthday in 1985. The Sony D5, exactly like the one in the pic. I ran right down to the 'record' store, Turtles, and got my very first CD. The Back to the Future Soundtrack, I still have them both! There was not a huge selection back then (like 10)!



I was in an AirBand contest, remember those??? Who needs Guitar Hero?



We did the song "One Night in Bangkok" by Robey. The girl version, not the guy version by Murray Head.



I know, we could've done Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Pat Benetar, Blondie...but everyone did them! We were later told that there were lights shining behind us. We were wearing very thin, sheer pants. Our friends said it was almost like we were naked. I thought the audience was clapping cause we were so good?!?

This was my hair in 1985



I tried to do 80's hair...didn't work. Perms made my hair fall out. Which is why I only have the proof to this pic. That and the fact that one eye is almost closed.



My perm fell out and I was left with this, but the dress is nice right? Don't I look like 3 different people?



I was a Band Geek, Go-Go's Lover in the 80's





I never got to see the Go-Go's in person because their concert was always on Friday night and I was stuck at the game.



I have no idea why I was wearing an Alabama sweatshirt, I must have lost a bet! See the girl above the star? I'll get to her in a minute.



I was on the Yearbook Staff in High School, before digital cameras, before Photoshop, before ANYTHING. I took this pic with my Minolta with b&w film, processed it and you can see the crop tape. There is that girl again! Who is she?

She is the one I am tagging in this blogpost. She popped up twice while looking through my stuff. SUSAN!! I am going to stray from the rules a little with this tag. I have listed the random facts 80's style, but I am only going to tag her and her sister TERRI!

Have fun girls! Here are the real rules!

The Rules:
1.) Link back to the person who tagged you & share the rules on your blog.
2.) Share 7 random facts about yourself.
3.) Tag 7 people & list their links on your post.
4.) Tell those 7 people by commenting on their blogs

Death to Recess and the P.E. Nazis

Remember recess? It was the favorite part of my day. Kickball, jumprope, swings, and you got to chase and be chased by BOYS.

Then they killed recess.




It was a cold and calculated coup brought about by the P.E. Nazis. Recess was fun, P.E. was torture. The P.E. Nazis like it that way. P.E. Nazis were probably once the playground bullies. The self-appointed captains of the kickball teams, the ones who liked the feeling of choosing the most athletic kids first and humiliating the kids who they had to pick last...

But the best part of recess? We could say, screw them, let's go jump rope! If you didn't want to play kickball, you didn't have to.

So the playground bullies grew up to get a degree in physical education and they became the P.E. Nazis.

In middle school, when you are the most vulnerable and most unsure of your body, the P.E. Nazis make you undress in front of all the other kids. It was the first time that running and playing became the dreaded "exercising."

When I was in the 7th grade, my P.E. teacher thought it would be a good idea to teach lanky 12 year olds how to jump hurdles. I was 5'9 all legs and probably weighed 90lbs. soaking wet. I think you know where I am going with this.

"Just run, and jump...run and jump."

That was the extent of our instruction.

So I ran...and jumped...and landed. Elbow first, then my hip, flat on my back. My friends were scared when I burst into tears (I don't cry). I was holding my arm and my friends were taking me into the school. The coach yells after us...

"SHE'LL BE OKAY, SHE JUST HURT HER PRIDE!"

Thanks Dr. P.E. Nazi, they almost had to put pins in my arm due to a completely broken humerus and I got to start the summer with a cast that couldn't get wet...protecting my PRIDE no doubt.

P.E. Nazis still exist. When the Youngest Boy broke his toe, the Doctor gave him a written excuse...

"NO P.E. for 4 WEEKS."

They still made him change into his P.E. clothes... AND WALK AROUND THE TRACK for the entire class period. (I see that confused look on your face, I had it too)

I sent the P.E. Nazi an email.

Me: Youngest Boy has a broken toe. Toe Dr. gave him a written excuse for P.E. for 4 weeks. Why does he have to walk the track by himself during P.E.?
Dr. P.E. Nazi: He needs to be doing SOMETHING, besides, he needs to 'work it out.'

That prompted a letter to the Principal.

Me: The Youngest Boy has a broken toe, he also has a note from the Toe Doctor that excuses him from P.E. for 4 weeks. The P.E. Nazi teacher is making him walk around the track and I don't understand why.
Principal with no Principles: Yes, I am aware of this situation, what do you want him to do? Just sit there?
Me: I would think that a woman with a Ph.D would know what an excuse from P.E. MEANS. It means YES, I WANT HIM TO JUST SIT THERE. Maybe he could READ A BOOK, he is in school you know?

He wasn't allowed to read, but they let him sit out during the class. Instead of reading, the P.E. Nazi wanted him to WATCH what the other kids were doing.

Hey, I wonder if that will work for me? Will I get the same benefits watching a workout DVD from the sofa? In the interest of science I am going to try it.

Click....click......click.......A.D.D. and the Blog Reader

So I used to think I was just 'different' until I was diagnosed with ADD. Things made sense in my life, like my 'daydreaming' in class and bulldog type attitude.

There can be an up side to ADD, like the fantastic creativity and the fact that my brain never shuts down.

There is definitely a down side to ADD...like the fact that my brain never shuts down and I can't stay on task.

I have some friends who are ADD also...we have conversations and never complete ONE SINGLE TRAIN OF THOUGHT...it's more like a train wreck!

This is me when I pick up my laptop in the morning.

Email...ooh look what is on sale at Buy.com...click..click...

MSN (homepage) Madonna nand Guy, marriage in trouble...click...click

Alaska Senator Stevens found guilty, click...click

HappyHourSue, Haha! Click....click

Blogroll....this Blog then that Blog...then another...then another...then another....

Look at the clock.

Another day gone and nothing accomplished but I have another 20 blogs to follow.

This post is rated R, or at least PG13...14...maybe 15.

Mr. Twisted and I have a joke. It's about the remote control to the TV/CableBox DVR.

We call it "The Penis"

Gasp...yes I know...but before you click on your next Blog, please let me explain.

You all know that the remote control is the symbolic phallus of everyone's household. Whoever holds it holds all the power, like in the Real World.

I had the 'penis' and then Mr. Twisted came home and wanted it. He asked, "Do we have any movies to watch?"

Of course we do, Blockbuster online is the BOMB! I returned a movie I got in the mail for Forgetting Sarah Marshall at the local store.





HappyHourSue said it was hysterical.

Conversation:

Me: Let's watch Forgetting Sarah Marshall. HappyHourSue said it was hysterical.
Mr. Twisted: Oh, by all means, let's get our movie recommendations from your Twit Friends.
Me: Uh Yeah, cause they like are the funniest people on Earth!

In the first 3 minutes of the movie, there was nakedness. And not gurl nakedness, it was BOY nakedness!

HappyHourSue ROCKS! I don't have the 'penis' but I made Mr. Twisted watch one! LOL!

Decoration Moratorium

I have been told that I am not allowed to buy any more Halloween decorations.



I really don't see what the big deal is.



Although, this is not all of them...



I will post more pics tomorrow!

(And he hasn't even seen the bubble blower I have hidden in my trunk, it blows bubbles filled with FOG!)

It's almost Halloween!

It's almost Halloween.

I sent my boss this picture and asked him if I could do my bus like this...his reply...

"Lisa - I would prefer if you didn’t?"

And yes, the question mark was his.

Troll Showdown

I knew it, the Word Verification Trolls are screwing with me. Looking at the comments of my readers, they are here to wreck havoc among us.

Today, we had a showdown.

I was about to post a comment on a blog and they started playing with me.



Me: "I knew it, you are just hateful Trolls. What is wrong with you?"



Me: "I don't care...my Youngest Boy has it too, it's no excuse."



Me: "What? Are you calling me FAT?"



Me: "I have a FAT FANNY? Game on TROLLS!"



Me: "THAT is NOT any better!"



Me: "I knew it! You are nasty little Trolls! Did you think that was funny?"



Me: "You are sad little Trolls."



Me: "Okay, now you are staring to piss me off!"



Me: "I am NO REDNECK, but I will OPEN UP A CAN OF WHOOP ASS for YOU!"



Me: "Damn Skippy you made a mistake...you have messed with the wrong person."



Me: "You bet I'm Hot but sucking up will get you no where."



Me: :You betcha...I am going to tweet to everyone how evil you Trolls are....YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"