Warning! Strong Language!

8. Lily Allen - Fuck You - For more funny videos, click here

This is my favorite song, today anyway. I want to produce the music video. THIS is NOT a music video...but I am giving them time and a huge 'shout-out' about my idea for the song. The lyrics are great and this is what I see, tell me if you agree after you listen to the song.

Keep in mind, there is NO WAY that this song will be played on the radio!

Lily Allen singing, (close-up then pan to the side)
Broadway type stage, lots of lights. Man in drag, you know the pretty kind, takes up singing only lip-syncing. Dressed in a Rockettes type costume.

Pan out
Chorus starts
Chorus line of Drag Queens doing a high kick type Rockettes kind of high kick.

I know you all can see it!?! Right?

I can SO produce this video...choreographer anyone?

Oh Happy Day!

I just love it when a person perjures himself on the stand! During a court proceeding that is being recorded by a court recorder! Especially when there is digital proof to impeach them later, like in a trial?

Some people have a knack for recording and documenting EVERYTHING...maybe it's an OCD thing. I do it...

These are the clients attorneys love!

The plaintiff lies, and out comes documentation to prove otherwise...

And remember this blogfans...perjury is a crime. And, it really makes you look like a loser...or someone who isn't smart enough to know better.

So, my advice to everyone...tell the truth under oath, and save those incriminating pictures and emails. It makes attorneys happy!

Cheers!

It's Spring!

I love this time of year! It's a teeny bit of nice weather those of us in Alabama call Spring! Pretty soon, the humidity will be unbearable and it will be 100 degrees in the shade.

We spent Saturday over at the house of a dear friend, Otis. We grilled ribeyes, I made my famous twice-baked potatoes and we chilled by the lake.

I helped Otis with his computer. Funny how people who work with computers ALL DAY can be in need of help at home! He had so much adware and malware it wasn't even funny.

I downloaded him some new tunes, (he has Poison and Elvis on the same CDs!) I think I got him caught up to 2006, maybe 2007!

Here's to Spring! It will only be here another week or so!

I WON! I WON!

You know, God really has a sense of humor. I totally believe it.

As some of you followers may know, it's been almost 9 weeks since Mr.X punched me in the chest and threw me and my two boys out of the house. There has been no sex for this chick for a WHILE!

I hate to admit it, but the sex with Mr.X was not the best I have ever had, but I was totally smitten with Mr.X so it didn't seem as important but.........

Girls, if you are dating a guy who 'wants it' less than you do from day ONE, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!

On THAT note...I have won a very special contest Tenakim was having!

I won $65 from Eden Fantasys !!

Now...what do I want?? I have a purple JackRabbit I got in New Orleans, the Blue Bullet... I will let Mr.X keep that one, it's really his.

So what shall it be??? Any suggestions???

I have a Disorder

I will come right out with it. I have Silent Tourette's Syndrome.

You read that right...SILENT Tourette's syndrome. It's where I am in a situation, usually alone and alone in my thoughts and a thought comes to me and I scream in my head "F*CK YOU!". But only in my head.

Then a while later, I will see something that reminds me of a life I once had and I scream in my head, "YOU MUTHER F*CKER!"

I have been told that this affliction is normal and will pass in time, just as long as I don't start screaming the obscenities out loud. Although, I can see that happening in the right situation.

Stupidity usually brings it out in me, so I apologize in advance. My divorce is probably going to drag on for a while, a year maybe. After that, I should be cured!

I believe....

My friend Terri once dragged me to a New Age Festival in town. I had no idea what was in store for me, but I was open to anything as I was going through my first divorce after 15 years of marriage.

I ran into a Tarot Reader who sat me down in front of her and started shuffling her cards. I cut the deck and she started laying the cards out in front of me.

Reader: "Wow, I see your divorce. Has your husband ever hurt you?"
Me: "No", I laughed at the thought. My first husband never even spanked the kids, he would never lay a hand on anyone.
Reader: "But I see violence, I want you to be careful, be very careful."
Me: "Okay, I will."
Reader: "I don't usually tell my clients that their marriage will never work, but this will never work. If I see that things can work, I suggest counseling. You can't repair this marriage."

I knew that my marriage wasn't working, after all, we were getting a divorce. I was confused at her obvious concern, knowing my husband, but I took her advice and was careful.

Now I am beginning to wonder if she wasn't seeing my current marriage instead. It fits, the violence, the threats, the fact that my marriage cannot be saved by counseling. Marriage counseling only works when both people want to save the marriage. Mr. Ex apparently has too many things suppressed deep down inside of him and I think he is actually afraid of therapy. He wouldn't even go when his daughter was seeing someone and needed help. I am hoping that the judge may order an evaluation like in the comment of my last post. I think it will help his relationship with his daughter and if he ever decides to share his life with someone else.

The best part of my reading was the end, after all the warnings...

Reader: "Just be very careful, please listen to me."
Me: "I understand."
Reader: "Ahhhh, and the last card, The Family Card. Here is the family you always wanted. Here is your family."

I always thought she meant Mr. Twisted and his daughter. Now I know that wasn't the case.

Who knows what she saw. Maybe she saw me and my 2 boys and Opal. Maybe she saw someone who wouldn't lie to me, keep secrets from me. Maybe she saw someone who would appreciate all that I have to offer.

I do know that I am on the right track. Instead of the sorrow someone would normally feel about a failed marriage, I feel hopeful and happy, looking forward to the future.

Happy St. Paddy's Day!

I am going on a mini vacay with my 2 boys so I am posting a wee bit early.
Opal is One Lucky Pup, but some of us are not so lucky.

By conservative estimates, 1.5 million women in the United States are assaulted by their intimate partners every year. (Findings from the National Violence Against Women Survey, National Institute of Justice and Centers Disease Control and Prevention, July 2000)

Domestic Violence includes a wide range of abuse, including:

* Physical Assaults
* Sexual Assault
* Psychological abuse
* Threats
* Intimidation
* Emotional abuse
* Isolation
* Manipulation of children
* Economic control
* Destruction of property or pets

A recent national survey of 8,000 women found that women whose partners were jealous, controlling or verbally abusive were significantly more likely to report being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by their partners. "Having a verbally abusive partner was the variable most likely to predict that a woman would be victimized by an intimate partner." (NVAW Survey, July 2000)
(Information provided by Harriet's House)

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, get help. If you don't think you need help, if you think it won't happen again, read this blog, Violence Unsilenced.

Opal has a Boyfriend!

There is this cute little Puggle who lives down the street. His name is Rocket and Opal has fallen in love with him. She sits on her porch and waits for him to come jogging down the street. Rocket's owner is quite fun to hang out with too!!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Here's to Health!

This is my early update:



Wednesday was my 5th week anniversary of "The Awakening". (Soon-to-be) Mr. EX punched me in the chest and locked me and my 2 sons out of our home.

It's funny that this story says that it took Chris Brown 9 days to apologize to Rihanna. I got an "I'm sorry for the way things ended" voicemail 3 weeks after. That's about it. Guess I will wait for the real apology til Hell Freezes Over. It should be something like, "I'm sorry that I loathe myself so much that I destroy everything in my path."

On the up side of this whole ordeal, I have met the most wonderful people. Caring, generous, thoughtful people.

I decided last Saturday to 'give back'. Since I don't really have anything to give, yet, I decided to give blood.

When they pulled up my info, they informed me that I was a 2 Galloneer! I have given more than that considering I donate to the Red Cross and also LifeSouth, these were just the LifeSouth statistics.

I got this nifty travel mug!



Since I don't have a scale (locked up with Mr.Ex) I will just post my current health stats:

Blood Pressure: 120/80 (waaaaaaay down since "The Awakening")
Cholesterol: 165
Pulse: 68

According to this article, my health should continue to improve!

SnOpal

It's not often that we have snow in Alabama. It's even more rare that we get snow that sticks to the ground and doesn't cause everything to shut down. The Snow Gods shined down on us last Sunday and here are some pics!

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

WalMart is Rolling Back Prices!

In this economy, Wal-Mart is doing something to help out their loyal customers.
They have a new strategy for making money, it's called "ripping off the stupid people".I think it's a test to see if their shoppers have any math skills whatsoever. You know the ones...they pay full price for things that they never use at all. Clothes that hang in the closet with tags, glaring at them, SCREAMING - FULL PRICE!!! FULL PRICE!!!I NEVER pay full price for anything unless it is the absolute end of the world and I get sick to my stomach when I do.

I know I am not a perfect shopper. I peruse the bargain bins and sometimes buy a $169 blouse for $2.99 cause I KNOW I am going to fit into it one day. It hangs in my closet and eventually I will get in it, or, someone in a Thrift Store will be ecstatic. Even then, it's good karma.

But come on Wal-Mart!! This is not going to do anyone any good!

Hallelujah!!!!

I can't believe it, I just got my Summer Registration papers and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel....AND IT'S NOT A TRAIN!!!

It's Lady Justice....WOO HOO! Look at what I have left.

Summer Semester

Conflict of Laws
Pleadings and Practice
Elective I (TBA)
Elective II (TBA)

Fall Semester

Wills
Domestic
Senior Seminar I

Spring Semester

Ethics
Trusts
Senior Seminar II

See you at the BAR! The Alabama State Bar, that is!

I've been tagged!

Yeah, blogging material. I have not had many ideas for my blog lately. Fracas tagged me!!!!

Well, not that I can blog about now...but I will blog about later! A lot of you have been asking me how I have been doing, where I am staying and what really happened to end my marriage.

All the nasty details will come...just be patient.

So, now for the TAG.

7 random or weird things:

1. I have decided that 2009 is the YEAR of Twisted Lisa! It's all about ME!
2. I used to drink, A LOT...but now, after being ejected from my home, I discovered I don't NEED to drink anymore...imagine that! Life is GOOD!
3. I have one year left of Law School.
4. I was run over by a car when I was 2. Back tire and front tire over my abdomen.
5. I have no tolerance for stupidity...
6. I can't stand people who can't tell the truth yet proclaim to be honest.
7. I believe in Karma... it rocks.

Now for the taggees.

1. Terri
2. Nicólle
3. Susan
4. Tena
5. Leigh
6. Lipstick
7. Bake or Break

Chicken Butt

Opal is chillaxin a bit. For some reason her butt reminds me of a raw chicken....do you see it?

Just Checking In!

In the middle of Mid-Terms this week...so I am just checking in.

I found a great new wine... Little Black Dress.

I pick my wines solely on the bottle design and cost (less than $15, $10 is PERFECT)

I like quirky bottle designs and ones that speak to me at the time...this one did.


For all of you asking about Opal, here she is...she's doing just fine and so am I.



Thanks for all your emails and support.

Looking Forward to the Weekend!

All things considered, this Valentine's Day is actually going to be one of the best!

It's going to be all about me, which is nice for a change.

I have been invited to a Singles get-together with some old High School Chums...(Facebook is becoming my new best friend!)

I have lost touch with so many people, people who were much fun, it feels good to laugh again. I didn't think I was going to be happy again after Mr. X but I quickly realized that I was the fun one and I don't need him to be happy.

KISS!

I decided to join Tenakim on her bloggy diet journey.

I am waaaaay ahead of everyone right now though...This month I lost a 200 pound ASS.(Mr. Twisted Mr. X.)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Weird that I have heard that song two times in the past couple of days. A blast from the past for sure!

And that is exactly what we have been doing today. The Girls decided I needed a total make-over. I didn't realize what a strain the past couple of years have been and what it has done to me as a person. You can kinda let yourself go when you have to deal with a true drama queen. I didn't realize that Mr. Twisted, Mr. X, was in the "really high maintenance" category, until now, stepping back and seeing the forest and the trees.

But enough about him and his problems...

The Girls and I went out, I got my hair colored and cut, new makeup, manicure and pedicure, new clothes and even new undies.

At dinner, I guess we got a little carried away. The men at the table next to us ended up paying for our dinners. "We had so much fun just sitting next to you girls, listening in, it was the least we could do."

I feel like a new person, it's good to be back in the real world!

Reverence to Breakfast Past

I used to make Eggs Benedict for Mr. Twisted on the weekends, from SCRATCH. Now he can find someone else to do it.

Here is the recipe, from what I can remember since I am still locked out of the house without my possessions.

3 egg yolks
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon water
1 stick of unsalted butter cut in 3rds, room temperature
white pepper
salt

Whisk egg yolks in a double boiler. Yes, DOUBLE BOILER, add lemon juice and water. Add 1/3 of butter, whisk until melted, continue with rest of butter.

While doing this, poach 2 eggs. I use the Toastmaster EggHead.

Add salt and white pepper to your own liking and if the Hollandaise sauce gets to be too thick, add warm water from the bottom of the double boiler.

Toast English Muffin, warm Canadian bacon.

Assemble:

English muffin
Canadian Bacon
Poached Egg
Hollandaise Sauce

Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday