Tuesday, July 19, 2011

That's Twisted Lisa Esquire!!

So I graduated from law school May 2010, and took the Bar for the first time Feb. 2011. I wasn't able to take the July Bar due to some kind of paperwork snafu. This would have put the Ex-Mr.Twisted panties' in a knot but thank God I am no longer his prisoner.

I passed the Bar!!!! First Time! Woooooo Hoooooo!!!!! They say the February Bar is the harder Bar to pass...do I care? HELL NO!

So... does anyone need a quickie divorce? ;) CHEERS!!!!!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Hello Peeps!

Well, today is March 5th 2011 (barely since it's 3:06 a.m.)

I took the Bar last week. It's a miracle that I still can recognize the alphabet!

It was horrible...I will be taking it again in July....I totally bombed the essay questions.... :(

Sunday, November 28, 2010

War Eagle!!!

What a game! Opal had a splendid day and she says "Elephant is tasty!!"

Monday, October 25, 2010

I still have followers?

I really thought that I would check out my blog and see that I had been deserted by everyone! I'm glad you are still here! (minus 2 I think :)

So, I was supposed to take the July Bar...

I get a letter from the Alabama Bar Association stating that I had not turned in the required forms and I was being removed from the exam.

This is ok, EXCEPT that it was July 4th weekend when I got the letter. I had a mini nervous breakdown (my doctor called it a "controlled spiral") and traveled 7,000 miles from July until August.

I went to see Twisted Grandma, she's 91 years old, in Oklahoma and flew to Oregon to visit relatives I hardly knew growing up.

I got scans of pictures Twisted Grandma is hoarding and got to see the west coast for the first time in my life!

$50 later (fee to reschedule the Bar) I am scheduled for The February Bar. 2/21 - 2/22 - 2/23

So the countdown begins...

Oh, and P.S. The Youngest Boy, now a senior in High School has run away to his father's because I asked him to pick up after himself...

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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hi Fans!

I can't believe I even have any fans left since I haven't posted in a LONG time! Well, let me fill you in on what has been going on...

I finished LAW SCHOOL! WOOO HOOO! I graduated 5-9-10! The greatest Mother's Day Gift I could have given myself!

I passed my exit exam with the 3rd highest score for that exam (3 exams were given).

I am currently studying for the Bar, I take it at the end of July...


Twisted Lisa J.D.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Be Careful With Those Picture Messages!

Just thought I would let you guys know about something that happened to me last month. I got this picture message from a number I didn't recognize, it was a Tennessee area code so I was curious.

All it said was "Ahhhhhhh"

So I clicked REPLY. Now, keep in mind, I did NOT type in a new number, I clicked on REPLY to the message I had just gotten.

I said, "Where's mine?"
Unknown Number said "Who is this?"
Me "Whoever you sent the pic of the margarita to."
Unknown Number said "I haven't sent a picture of a margarita to anyone and I have no idea who this is.

Unknown Number has just been saved in my contacts as Idiot and I forwarded the pic to them.

Idiot "Who is this?"
Me "Who is this?? You texted me first!

And that was that...so I thought.

A few weeks later, I was telling my friend, Trish about this crazy this crazy text exchange.

She said, "OH! I sent you a pic of a margarita...you never responded."
I replied, "What? How can that be?"

So she sent me the pic again....BINGO! The margarita pic!

I have no idea who this person is who appeared to have sent me the pic of a margarita. I entered them in my phone as Idiot. I had no idea messages could get mixed like that. I have been told it's not possible but the proof is in my phone.

I'm just glad it wasn't a picture of someones who-ha!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Tickled "PINK"

Hi guys! 186 days until the Bar Exam. I am now in complete meltdown mode! Occasionally I run across things that make me smile and here is one. Please share and help them reach a Million hits on YouTube!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year!

This has been the year of ME! My Rebirth!

And get this guys......






I know everyone is laughing, people join gyms every day. BUT, I did it in October and I am still going! I beat the New Year's RUSH!

I have a 'personal trainer' too! We go 5-6 days a week. He kills me! I am still waiting for that "I love to workout" feeling. I think those people are just full of CRAP!

But what I do like is the eye candy at the gym, he keeps me laughing and he has seen me shrink from "miserable marriage" weight to my current pre-Mr.EX weight.

Wanna know who my trainer is????

Drum Roll Please!!!

/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \

/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \

/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \

/ \ / \ / \ / \ / \

Happy New Year!

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

I love being the bigger person!

And I am not talking about my weight! Fortunately, I am happy and no longer in a miserable marriage. I didn't realize what a strain it had become, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, something stupid that would set Mr.EX off. His anger issues had nothing to do with me, but he is the kinda guy who always needs someone else to blame.

I decorated my fabulous house the other day. While doing so I had to separate the Mr.EX's ornaments from mine. We had a deal that he would replace something he broke and I would return his keepsake ornaments.

I returned his ornaments the other day, no word from him. I know he was hoping that I wouldn't do it, he also likes to portray himself as a victim.

Mr.EX has never been a man of his word. I now understand why he never got mad at his daughter for lying. He lives a lie, why should he get mad that his daughter is also incapable of telling the truth?

Last year we were planning on going to Cleveland for Thanksgiving (for the anniversary of A Christmas Story Movie). Apparently, Ms. Princess (my ex step-daughter, 12 years old) didn't want to go, and she also didn't want to stay with her father for an entire week. So she and her mom concocted a terrible lie about how she was afraid to fly. When she came over for the weekend I asked her about her sudden fear of flying,

Ms.Princess "Yeah, I'm afraid to fly now."
Me "Oh that's too bad, you won't be able to fly to California with us."
Me "Busted"

Her ears and face turned red. She wasn't used to being matched with someone who actually saw what she was doing and called her on it. She told her friends at school I was a mean bitch! LOL! No, I wasn't mean, just apparently smarter than her mom and dad.

Mr.EX never wanted to correct her faults so he just ignored them. He liked to say "She only spends 4 days a month with me, what am I supposed to do?" Which fit his victim mentality so when she ends up being a complete and total bitch like her mother, he can place all blame on the mom.

I am glad that I didn't have to shop for those people this Christmas. It's hard buying for Ms. Princess, she gets everything she wants when she asks for it, or rather has a meltdown in Wal-Mart that would make a 2-year-old proud. She actually said last year that she hated December. I asked her why. Her response was, "Cause I can't get what I want, WHEN I want it! I have to WAIT for Christmas!!" Which was funny because she never had to wait for anything. She had brand new things every time she came over.

There was one story she told about some rabbit stuffed animals she had. I asked her why she had 3 large stuffed animal rabbits exactly alike. "Well, my grandma took me to Toys R Us and told me I could pick out a stuffed animal. I didn't see anything I liked so I just got something I already had." Apparently this had happened more than once!

I can bet money that she asked for something for Christmas that she already had and still didn't know how to use, like a new cell phone or mp3 player. It's really quite sad.

I hope all my readers had a great Christmas too! I loved being home with my boys and spending time only with them and my great friends!

AND, I made an A in my Domestic Law class!!! Go figure with all the work I did on my own divorce!

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Ringtones, do you know what your ringtone is?

I love Ringtones! I got a new phone not too long ago with the Android Operating system on it. I love the phone which was designed to compete with the iphone, although I still accidentally butt dial my friends with the touch screen.

I have always had a different ringtone for all my friends so that I could know who was calling without looking at the screen. Mr.EX used to have the Wicked Witch Theme when his first ex-wife called.

The other day my friend MC was at my house and she called my cell phone because I didn't know where it was. When we heard it ringing she gasped! Is THAT my ringtone???

I was soooo busted, here is her ringtone! She told Ger about my ringtones so one day he called me when I was with him.

BUSTED AGAIN!! and NO, it doesn't mean anything other than us being on the front row for the KISS concert! Here is a pic I took that night. It was amazing!

So it's been a little joke among my friends, they call me when I am around to see what their ringtones are. I may have to change some before I am really busted!

Crazy Bitch (from Buckcherry who opened for KISS)
Love Drunk
I Gotta Feeling
I'm Yours

And NO, I am not listing who belongs to these ringtones!

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Opal! Bad Girl!

Opal Update...

She's a smart puppy! During my last exams she decided that she was not getting enough attention. It was my hardest semester of law school and I was totally immersed in my studies.

I let her out in the yard to run around and get some exercise and wasn't really paying attention to what she was doing. She apparently got a little too close to the pool and then found some dirt. Nice, fertile, BLACK DIRT!

She came running back to the house and when I picked her up, mud dripped between my fingers! She went straight to the tub! The downstairs tub is huge, it's an indoor Jacuzzi tub that is bigger than the tubs put in new houses today. Two people can sit in it side by side and it has a heater that heats the water too! The down side is that it takes a LOT of water to fill it.

As you can see behind her, the gazillion gallons of water it took to bathe her was BLACK and she wasn't even clean yet! The tub was just as hard to clean as she was!

My school load has lessoned so poor Opal won't be neglected as much anymore.

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Friday, August 21, 2009

I could've written this song!

I have made it through another semester of Law School, I did quite well considering everything that was going on. I moved, became officially divorced and was stalked by a guy who is no longer a friend of mine. It's really sad when someone who you think is a friend moves in for the kill when you are wounded and hurt.

I have 6 more classes left and I am scheduled to graduate in May. I don't even have to put 2010 behind it anymore! I take Domestic Law this fall, I should make an A. My attorney is the professor and I did a lot of the grunt work in my own case. Saved me TONS of money!

This song goes on the playlist for my housewarming, divorce, freedom party!

Say It (Blue October)

It’s all about steam
It’s all about dreams
It’s all about making the best out of everything
You’ll know when your fine
Cause you’ll talk like a mime

You’ll fall on your face
You get back up and you’re doing fine
“a considerate clown, a preachy preaching machine”
is one of the sweetest things you would say about me
but I don’t have the time for your distorted esteem
why are you toying with my mind?

I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say say say it
I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say it
I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say say say it
Now you’re messing with my pride

Look, You think you’re smarter than me
Well everyone knows you will never be smarter than me
That’s how it goes
I gained forty pounds because of you
Was there an “S” on my chest
Well I confess, you were too much stress
I’d have a heart attack at best
So now I breathe it out, I breathe it out
I spit it on the crowd cause they lift me up, they lift me up, they lift me up

When I’m feeling down
What am I spitting out? spitting out, something we never talk about
It’s called my …mind

I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say say say it
I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say it
I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say say say it
Now you’re messing with my pride

I’m sick of standing in your line
So now you’ll have to take it
take this to heart
I will never let you fuck me over
Stop talking down to me your war is old
your game is over
So here’s my colder shoulder

I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say say say it
I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say it
I don’t wanna hear you say say say say say say say say it
Now you’re messing with my pride

Something we don’t talk about
Something we never talk about

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Friday, August 7, 2009

In Honor Of Today! 8/7/09

In honor of my divorce decree being entered today. Here's a tune that speaks to me.

Freedom '90
George Michael

I won't let you down
I will not give you up
Gotta have some faith in the sound
It's the one good thing that I've got
I won't let you down
So please don't give me up
Because I would really, really love to stick around

Heaven knows I was just a young boy
Didn't know what I wanted to be
I was every little hungry schoolgirl's pride and joy
And I guess it was enough for me
To win the race? A prettier face!
Brand new clothes and a big fat place
On your rock and roll TV
But today the way I play the game is not the same
No way
Think I'm gonna get me some happy

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Take back your singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me
You've gotta give for what you take
You've gotta give for what you take

Heaven knows we sure had some fun boy
What a kick just a buddy and me
We had every big shot good-time band on the run boy
We were living in a fantasy
We won the race
Got out of the place
I went back home got a brand new face
For the boys on MTV
But today the way I play the game has got to change
Oh yeah
Now I'm gonna get myself happy

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I stopped the show
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone I forgot to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Don't think that I'll be back again
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me
You've gotta give for what you take
You've gotta give for what you take

Well it looks like the road to heaven
But it feels like the road to hell
When I knew which side my bread was buttered
I took the knife as well
Posing for another picture
Everybody's got to sell
But when you shake your ass
They notice fast
And some mistakes were built to last
That's what you get

I say that's what you get

That's what you get for changing your mind
And after all this time
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes
Do not make the man

I'll hold on to my freedom
May not be what you want from me
Just the way it's got to be
Lose the face now
I've got to live

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Spontaneous Beach Trip 2

Ok, so I did study while I was out in the sun!

Panama City Beach!!!

My friend, Mary Catherine invited me to her mom's place in Panama City Beach. All I had to do was drive her mom's van down there for her and bring our Cabana Boy, Gerry.

Gerry has become a good friend of ours, another positive thing from Facebook. I knew Gerry in high school, in fact, I had a huge crush on him. Something I had repressed in my memory until we rode for 5 hours together in the car. He started talking about football, and our 1982 State Championship and things started coming back to me.

My cousin wanted to send me a baseball jersey from her high school in Kentucky and asked me what number I wanted on the back...

When he mentioned his number, Eleven, I gasped! That was the number I chose for my jersey.

Funny thing about crushes, we would have never gotten along. I am thankful for his friendship now...

but hey!

He made an awesome Cabana Boy, here he is bringing us fresh beverages while we were floating in the ocean.

Life is good my friends!

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Friday, July 3, 2009

Some Beach, Some Where!

Wow, I can't believe it's been since 6/3 since I posted. I have been so busy, working, packing, moving, unpacking, school...

and the occasional, spontaneous BEACH TRIP!

I can't believe how isolated I had become in the last 4 or so years. I have really missed my friends. One of them had a free condo for the weekend so off we went.

It was nice to get away, away from the insanity which is my divorce.

Update on that...

Trial date was continued so the new trial date is 8/6. It may have to be continued again, it's right before my finals. Our judge is not going to be happy if he has to hear this case. It's just not worth it. I sent Mr. X my final counter proposal, after that, I will either increase everything or let it go to trial. He will end up paying his attorney the difference in the amount I am asking and the amount he has offered.

I have also been working diligently to prepare. It's not going looking good for him. Everything he claimed in the interrogatories I have found proof to dispute. He actually attacked me as a mother. He stated about the Youngest Boy, "she told him that he should not drink alcohol but her actions spoke louder than her words."

I find that quite amusing considering I have a picture of his daughter bringing him a beer in her bathing suit, hip cocked, making the Peace sign in her other hand.

Talk about your glass houses and throwing stones.

I promise to post more. I have actually started another blog. As soon as I get more than a few posts on it, I will let you guys know where it is!

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Wednesday, June 3, 2009


"I get by with a little help from my friends."
- John Lennon

I am so very appreciative of my friends. This is a shout-out to them.

As some of you may know, I have been locked out of my home for 4 months, I had a POD delivered on Saturday and was told by Mr.X that he would not allow me in to pack up my belongings unless it was convenient for him. He wasn't going to be available until that following Friday.

I saw his ex-wife enter the house on Tuesday with a key, I was not happy about this considering that I did not give her permission or allow her access to my belongings.


I moved 75% of my things during the next 2 days. Apparently, Mr.X was out of town. I wonder how the judge is going to feel about him allowing her into the house and not allowing me and also the subsequent harassment by her.

I had my Friends helping me. One friend in particular asked me why I was so nice to (didn't smack) the ex-wife who thought she had the right to come walking right inside the house while we were there, without knocking. I just told her that it wasn't worth it. Mr.X will have to explain himself to the judge. I did, however, call the police the second time she came barging in and filed a report.

The highlight of the day was when the Daughter of Mr.X gave the "finger" to the teenage boys who were moving my furniture as her mother drove off. Sweet.

But Kudos to my Friends! Thanks for your help and there is probably only another load left and we will have a HUGE celebration when I am finally out!

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Monday, May 25, 2009

Life's A Beach!

Have a safe and fun Memorial Day! I am spending my holiday and week at the Gulf Coast. The weather was supposed to be awful but it ended up being beautiful. Just a little relaxation before coming home to deal with Mr.X and moving all of my belongings that he continues to hold hostage.

Thanks to all of those who serve and protect our freedoms so that we can all sit on the beach.

Kite Flying Expert (Youngest Boy)

Oldest Boy, having successfully completed his first year at Auburn and acquiring enough hours to almost be a junior (AP classes)! AND, still has his scholarship, which has been a problem for some freshmen!

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Thursday, May 21, 2009

School's Out For Summer!

Today was the last day of regular school. Yippeeeee! Due to the economic climate and the mis-spending of our City Council and our School Board, they had to lay off 20 school bus drivers. This could have been bad for me if I had not been driving a bus for 7 years, but I was spared.

It DID however cause a shakeup in our routes. I got a route closer to my new home!! (more on that later!!)

After I dropped the kids off for the last time, I ran some errands and came back to where I am temporarily staying. This is what was waiting for me on the ground.

Of course this intrigues me because I just got word today that I passed all my classes this semester!!! Wooo Hooo!!! Straight Cs but after all I have been through, I take them with pride.

So, after a little investigating I discover that the landlord who owns my friends place also owns the entire street basically and he had a dumpster delivered to throw out some stuff that previous tenants had left. There is no telling how long this stuff has been in storage....

SO, I had to take a peek, right?

You won't believe what I found. Apparently, a lawyer had vacated a property and left behind EVERYTHING, right down to his wedding album...but hey, if his marriage turned out like my last one...good riddance, right?

I don't think that anyone told the Bride that you could see right through her crocheted dress, or maybe that was the point. The other family members in the pictures didn't look very happy!

Along with files that probably should have been shredded, there were a few volumes of the Code of Alabama. If I was a true dumpster diver, I would have gone all the way in to see if the complete set was there...but I am NOT. I do have my limits.

This was in perfect shape and I like it!

This is pretty cool, the artist is G.R. Cheesebrough, and it's numbered and signed.

AND....This is sooooo cool I can't believe it. The autograph appears to be real, it looks like it got a little wet and the Y bled a little. I LOVE IT!

Last but not least, I pulled this out for my friend, Cindy. She was pining away for a 'hard body' to snuggle at night so when I saw him in the dumpster, I couldn't resist. Funny thing was, when I pulled him out of the dumpster, he was wearing 2 womens aprons. You guys don't know how funny and ironic that happened to be, but more on THAT later.

My law school has changed their schedule so now, for the first time in forever, I have some time off from work which coincides with the school break. The latest motion Mr.X asked for was such a hit in my circle, that one of my newest friends offered me his place at the beach for a week or so. (Say what you want about Lawyers, the ones I know are AWESOME!) The timing is great because Mr.X wants to be allowed to hover over me when I get my things and only allow me to pack when he is there and during times that are only convenient for him. That is why we will spend another day in court. But it will just show the judge the kind of person he is and help with the upcoming trial.

So cheers!!! The next blog post will be from the sand!

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Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Belated Mother's Day!

Things are looking up for me, I had a most wonderful Mother's Day and my trial date has been set for 6/23. Mr. X wants to have a 'settlement conference' but there is no way that he is wasting any more of my time. He wants to save money but this is not the way to do it. If he wants to meet then he is going to have to pay all my attorneys fees. It won't look good to the judge that he won't discuss anything without making me pay my attorneys.

All he has to do is make an offer, after all, I was the last one to make an offer. But, I will continue to deposit his temporary support check until the trial. I'm not sure my attorney won't postpone until we get the interrogatories answered and all of the discovery asked for.

We shall see!

8 more school days left til SUMMER!

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Saturday, May 2, 2009

Crawfish Heaven!

I got my fill of crawfish again! I went to the Shaeffer Eye Center Crawfish Boil and the VIP tickets include unlimited Crawfish! I have 2 exams left and ran into one of my professors. Fortunately, I had already taken (tanked) my Evidence exam. According to this professor, so did everyone else! I gave him my potato that came with my crawfish, maybe he will give me a couple of extra points in exchange!

Friends at the Boil, See me? I'm taking the pic! Always the one behind the camera!

Here are some updated pics of Opal. She is waiting for Crawfish scraps!

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