Hallelujah!!!!

I can't believe it, I just got my Summer Registration papers and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel....AND IT'S NOT A TRAIN!!!

It's Lady Justice....WOO HOO! Look at what I have left.

Summer Semester

Conflict of Laws
Pleadings and Practice
Elective I (TBA)
Elective II (TBA)

Fall Semester

Wills
Domestic
Senior Seminar I

Spring Semester

Ethics
Trusts
Senior Seminar II

See you at the BAR! The Alabama State Bar, that is!

I've been tagged!

Yeah, blogging material. I have not had many ideas for my blog lately. Fracas tagged me!!!!

Well, not that I can blog about now...but I will blog about later! A lot of you have been asking me how I have been doing, where I am staying and what really happened to end my marriage.

All the nasty details will come...just be patient.

So, now for the TAG.

7 random or weird things:

1. I have decided that 2009 is the YEAR of Twisted Lisa! It's all about ME!
2. I used to drink, A LOT...but now, after being ejected from my home, I discovered I don't NEED to drink anymore...imagine that! Life is GOOD!
3. I have one year left of Law School.
4. I was run over by a car when I was 2. Back tire and front tire over my abdomen.
5. I have no tolerance for stupidity...
6. I can't stand people who can't tell the truth yet proclaim to be honest.
7. I believe in Karma... it rocks.

Now for the taggees.

1. Terri
2. Nicólle
3. Susan
4. Tena
5. Leigh
6. Lipstick
7. Bake or Break

Chicken Butt

Opal is chillaxin a bit. For some reason her butt reminds me of a raw chicken....do you see it?

Just Checking In!

In the middle of Mid-Terms this week...so I am just checking in.

I found a great new wine... Little Black Dress.

I pick my wines solely on the bottle design and cost (less than $15, $10 is PERFECT)

I like quirky bottle designs and ones that speak to me at the time...this one did.


For all of you asking about Opal, here she is...she's doing just fine and so am I.



Thanks for all your emails and support.

Looking Forward to the Weekend!

All things considered, this Valentine's Day is actually going to be one of the best!

It's going to be all about me, which is nice for a change.

I have been invited to a Singles get-together with some old High School Chums...(Facebook is becoming my new best friend!)

I have lost touch with so many people, people who were much fun, it feels good to laugh again. I didn't think I was going to be happy again after Mr. X but I quickly realized that I was the fun one and I don't need him to be happy.

KISS!

I decided to join Tenakim on her bloggy diet journey.

I am waaaaay ahead of everyone right now though...This month I lost a 200 pound ASS.(Mr. Twisted Mr. X.)

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Weird that I have heard that song two times in the past couple of days. A blast from the past for sure!

And that is exactly what we have been doing today. The Girls decided I needed a total make-over. I didn't realize what a strain the past couple of years have been and what it has done to me as a person. You can kinda let yourself go when you have to deal with a true drama queen. I didn't realize that Mr. Twisted, Mr. X, was in the "really high maintenance" category, until now, stepping back and seeing the forest and the trees.

But enough about him and his problems...

The Girls and I went out, I got my hair colored and cut, new makeup, manicure and pedicure, new clothes and even new undies.

At dinner, I guess we got a little carried away. The men at the table next to us ended up paying for our dinners. "We had so much fun just sitting next to you girls, listening in, it was the least we could do."

I feel like a new person, it's good to be back in the real world!

Reverence to Breakfast Past

I used to make Eggs Benedict for Mr. Twisted on the weekends, from SCRATCH. Now he can find someone else to do it.

Here is the recipe, from what I can remember since I am still locked out of the house without my possessions.

3 egg yolks
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon water
1 stick of unsalted butter cut in 3rds, room temperature
white pepper
salt

Whisk egg yolks in a double boiler. Yes, DOUBLE BOILER, add lemon juice and water. Add 1/3 of butter, whisk until melted, continue with rest of butter.

While doing this, poach 2 eggs. I use the Toastmaster EggHead.

Add salt and white pepper to your own liking and if the Hollandaise sauce gets to be too thick, add warm water from the bottom of the double boiler.

Toast English Muffin, warm Canadian bacon.

Assemble:

English muffin
Canadian Bacon
Poached Egg
Hollandaise Sauce

Enjoy!

Wordless Wednesday

Friends Forever!

I just want to thank all my friends. The ones in real life and the ones 'in the internet'!

Mr. Twisted believed that he could treat me as he liked because I wouldn't have any one to turn to. He speaks of truth and karma but doesn't realize that they apply to him too. His secrets are the ones that destroy everything in his life dear to him. If he doesn't face his own demons, he will continue down this path.

I am really sad that things ended. I loved him, dearly. I told him almost every day how much I appreciated him and how much I loved him. We laughed and had the best times of my life. He just doesn't like people knowing the real him and once I did, he tried to push me out of his life. This time, it's for good.

We all have demons, what makes life wonderful is when you find the person who accepts you, demons and all.

I accepted his demons, maybe one day he will be able to accept his own. I wish him the best.

So bloggers, when life hands you lemons, you and your friends take them to the nearest mexican restaurant and have them make margaritas! That's what we did!

New Development

Well folks... My blog posts may be a bit sporadic in the future.

I am sort of homeless right now. Mr. Twisted got upset about something that happened, something I didn't do. While I totally understand his anger, I cannot forget nor forgive the closed fist punch to my chest.

It happened Wednesday night and I can still hardly move...I have no idea how boxers do it.

You know what they say, domestic violence just escalates. I am not going to allow myself to become a victim. Well, any more than I already am...right?

So forgive me, I'll be back to posting soon.

Sigh

Well, well, well... Mr. Fireman.

I got a ticket a while back, right across the street from you. The ticket said "parked in front of a fire hydrant" but I was actually parked after hours in a loading zone...

A loading zone that happened to have a fire hydrant in it.

After 6:00p.m. you can park there. I often wondered what would happen if there was a fire but it seems that I am the only one who ever got a ticket there.

It isn't even listed as an offense on the ticket, and I have no idea how much it is anyway.

Mr. Fireman, you cannot claim to be inspecting the hydrant, you were no where to be found.

I am SO not paying that ticket now!

"CHEERS" - Why I’m an orphan (part 2)

I orphaned myself September 2006. I became an Only Child November 2006. My ex-sister didn’t understand why I didn’t want to spend Thanksgiving with my ex-parents and we got into an argument over the phone and I told her that I was finished with my ex- parents once and for all.

She began bitching about ‘family’ and taking sides with them, and I asked her why she felt it was important for me and my two boys to be there when my ex-parents really didn’t give a shit about us in the first place?

Facts of the Case:

My ex-sister lives 2.5 hours away in Atlanta. She is a professional in business for herself. She lives with her boyfriend of 8 or so years. Her boyfriend has a home in Atlanta with a basement filled with classic arcade games, a beach house in Panama City Beach, and a houseboat on Lake Lanier, complete with hot tub and slide off the top.

My boys are 15 and 18 years. Not one time has she ever INVITED us over. Not one single time. One time I popped over to see her and met her boyfriend’s mother (on her houseboat) and she went on and on how I needed to bring my boys back when it was warm so they could swim and slide and they would have such a good time. (This is how normal people are)

You might be thinking, "her boys must be monsters"...No, my boys are polite and well-behaved. They always have been. But they ARE (were), CHILDREN. My ex-parents never really could tolerate children, they are loud, they carry germs, they don't eat weird food and there is a possibility they may break something totally material and useless in their house.

This never happened.

And they only make over $400,000 a year...it would be a terrible hardship for them to replace some useless, unused piece of crap, right?

My ex-parents happened to live 10 miles from us (they currently live less than a mile from us). On their way home from work, they actually passed within 2 miles of our house. They never had any time to drop by and see their ONLY two grandchildren. They were “too busy”. They had to get home to the dogs, who have an outside doggie door (and alcohol).

I asked my sister:

Me: “Why is it that with a beach house and a houseboat and a basement full of arcade games, you NEVER ONCE invited me or your nephews over?”
Ex-Sister (stammering, sighing, takes a deep exasperated breath) : “Because YOU were in SCHOOL!!”
Me: “click” I hung up on her. I became an orphaned only child.

I had just graduated with a B.S in criminal justice in May of the previous year. I don’t work at all during the summer. Even if I was in school, it would have been nice to have been asked. The boys and I spent the summer of 2005 at home together, me being recently divorced, just having graduated…a single mom with limited funds.

Thanks for the invite to the lake and the beach house...

Even college students get breaks, but one thing you need to understand, my sister likes to ‘party’. Kids get in the way of that. Her boyfriend is also an only child so these are the only kids she will ever be an Aunt to.

My ex-husband only gets to have the boys for 25 hours during the Christmas Holidays. During that time, he takes them to my ex-parents house so they can give them money, because that is all they care about. (Funny, they hated him when we were married.) My boys have cell phones, they never call, they like to pretend to be doting grandparents with a $1000 check at Christmas. My ex-sister is there too, ready with her checks. Awwww, how sweet, a regular Norman Rockefeller Christmas.

Outcome of the Case:

In the mail today was a cute little “Save the Date” invitation.
Apparently, my sister is getting married in Jamaica later this year. On the back of the invitation,

Travel Information :

Resort is “all-inclusive and Adult Only”

It’s just as well, her only nephews are “in school” so why bother with an invitation?

Keyword Kraziness

GoogleAnalytics has provided me with the material for this post. It's fun to see what people are searching for when they land on your site. Here are a few good ones.

"twisted blogs" - yep...you landed in the right spot.

"bestbuy delivery men refuse to open package" - I like to open my own stuff!

"black cherry fresca shortage" - HELLO? I know!!!
"why can't i find black cherry fresca in the stores?" - ditto!

"awards for lisa - twisted" - Heck yeah! I love awards.

"craigslist credit card declined" - I'm not entirely sure about this but I think getting a credit card off Craigslist would be a BAD idea?

"devil paula deen"
"paula dean devil" - my sentiments exactly! Post 1, Post 2

"jon and kate divorced 2009" - Yeah, I agree with that one.

"my ccv number on my vanilla visa card won't work" - Can't help with that one, my Visa is Chocolate.

"mother-in-law on facebook" - EEWWWWWW

"school physicals undress" - uh yeah...don't know why you would search for that.

"threw keys in trash" - do you really need to google the answer for that one? GET THEM OUT!

"humor humans eat their young" - I don't even know what to say about that one.

Time for Lemonade!

I wasn't told much in my previous life that I had a great attitude. I suppose I have a better attitude now that I orphaned myself September 2006.

No, I didn't kill anyone, I just came to a point in my life where I decided that there were some people not worthy of my time or effort anymore. Some people have a way of sucking the life right out of you.

I can't say that I am not still bitter...but my lemons get sweeter every day! I am a better person because of my decision.

WayneJohn gave me this award for my great attitude! Thank you!!!!

And these are the rules for the bloggers that have received the Lemonade Award:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 10 blogs, which show great Attitude and/or Gratitude!
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link to this post and to the person from whom you received your award.

I will bestow this award on a few others who have a great attitude and then I will share a story from my previous life, when my attitude was more like HappyBunny's. Okay, so it's still like HappyBunny's, change takes time.



Bloggers with great tudes!

1. Bekah!
2. Legal Diva!
3. Travis Erwin! He still blogs after losing everything in a house fire. Makes me feel horrible for bitching about our 20inch TV.
4. BonDon
5. Red Queen. She's a new blogger on an exploration to find her bloggy greatness!
6. Beck! She is special, she was my first...follower that is :)
7. Jodi!

Seven is good...some of you guys can give it to eleven people, to make up for it.

So here is my story, it has two titles...

Why I orphaned myself part 1
Why I hate Christmas part 2 (Part 1 is here)


This is Uncle Traveling Matt, he is a Fraggle from Fraggle Rock. As a teen, (and even now) I loved Fraggles!

I was 17, a senior in high school and for a year and 3 months begging my parents for a car.

Christmas morning I open a soft squishy gift and I find Traveling Matt. He's one of my favorite Fraggles, he is independent and travels the world. It's a great gift...until my mom ex-mom opens her mouth.

Ex-Mom: "That's Traveling Matt, he is the traveling Fraggle. Your dad and I were going to get you a Fiat (my favorite car as a teen) but when the mechanic put it up on the rack, there was too much damage underneath, so we didn't get it. We were going to take the key and put it in Traveling Matt's hand and wrap it up and give it to you that way. Wouldn't that have been great?!?!"

Me: (WTF??) "Uhhhh, yeah....great."

Ex-Mom: "What is wrong with you, it's the thought that counts?!?"

Me: (WTF????) "Yes, wonderful idea."

I waited for the punchline to this cruel joke and it never came. About three months later, my mom's car was rear-ended, leaving us one car short. At that time, they let me buy my own car which my mom drove until hers was repaired. It was a 5 year old Fiat 2000 Spyder that cost $3000. I LOVED that car! I worked at Burger King to pay for it and all the gas I used.

Six years later, two weeks after my half sister's ex-half sister's 16th birthday, they surprised her with a brand new Ford Probe complete with gas card. Free of charge, no job required.

When my ex-mom called me with the glorious news, she got mad when I was silent on the phone as she explained how excited and happy my ex-sister was.

Ex-Mom: "What's wrong with you? Why aren't you happy for her???" (to this day, I haven't decided if she is insane, or just plain stupid, maybe it's an unfortunate combination of both)"I don't understand why you think we treated you differently." (Yeah, cause it's totally untrue, and all those Whoppers I served were just figments of my imagination also.)

So, I know that this is not what the award was meant for...but I am Twisted that way. It feels good to let some negativity out of me...releasing it forever into the blogosphere.

I am grateful for this award and feel that it is a compliment, IN SPITE of an upbringing that should have produced a cruel, heartless, bitch...but instead produced a:

Squirrels Gone Wild

I have always liked squirrels. Cute, furry, and so peaceful. Now I am beginning to think that they are truly of the rodent family and I am beginning to share a mindset not unlike those who hunt them, kill them, and eat them.

Okay, maybe not the 'eat' part but it's getting easier to imagine it.


This is my grill cover, or what's left of it.

This is video evidence of the culprit.



Opal has taken it upon herself to protect us from these vermin. After all, this entire house and yard belong to her and her ALONE!


"My YARD."

"My Chewing Stump"


"My Leaf"

"My Lookout Stump"

And most importantly...


"MY PINECONES!"


"GOT IT SQUIRRELS?"


Now outfitted with the proper "squirrel fighting" attire, Opal stands guard.


"I'm getting hungry just thinking about it!"


"Yo Quiero Taco SQUIRREL!"


Squirrel fighting is hard work. We didn't get any today, but there is always tomorrow!

Uh-oh

We have two bunnies. They live outside normally but with the recent cold snap, I didn't think they would survive outside so we brought them in.

The Youngest Boy built them two cages out of these...



These things are GREAT. In addition to the wire shelving, which is great for kids and teens rooms, you can build all kinds of things out of them.

Currently, we have a playpen for Opal and various 'gates' in the doorways to the forbidden areas of the house. We used zip ties for those.

Back to the bunnies.

Because this was temporary, we didn't reinforce the cages, we built them just like the bookcases only they were 4x4 face down.

We have a Boy bunny and a Girl bunny....you know what's coming don't you?

The other day, Mr. Twisted walked into the garage and guess what?

BOTH bunnies had busted out of their cages and were 'frolicking' around the garage.

Anyone want a cute, adorable, baby bunny in about 30 days?


How about some Hasenpfeffer?

Just Plain Wrong

The 50inch TV is now in the shop. It will be 2 to 2 1/2 weeks before it will be ready.

Which means....

NOT IN TIME FOR THE SUPERBOWL.


This is what we will be watching it on.

At least we will be able to HEAR the game. Go Cardinals!