Monday, January 26, 2009

"CHEERS" - Why I’m an orphan (part 2)

I orphaned myself September 2006. I became an Only Child November 2006. My ex-sister didn’t understand why I didn’t want to spend Thanksgiving with my ex-parents and we got into an argument over the phone and I told her that I was finished with my ex- parents once and for all.

She began bitching about ‘family’ and taking sides with them, and I asked her why she felt it was important for me and my two boys to be there when my ex-parents really didn’t give a shit about us in the first place?

Facts of the Case:

My ex-sister lives 2.5 hours away in Atlanta. She is a professional in business for herself. She lives with her boyfriend of 8 or so years. Her boyfriend has a home in Atlanta with a basement filled with classic arcade games, a beach house in Panama City Beach, and a houseboat on Lake Lanier, complete with hot tub and slide off the top.

My boys are 15 and 18 years. Not one time has she ever INVITED us over. Not one single time. One time I popped over to see her and met her boyfriend’s mother (on her houseboat) and she went on and on how I needed to bring my boys back when it was warm so they could swim and slide and they would have such a good time. (This is how normal people are)

You might be thinking, "her boys must be monsters"...No, my boys are polite and well-behaved. They always have been. But they ARE (were), CHILDREN. My ex-parents never really could tolerate children, they are loud, they carry germs, they don't eat weird food and there is a possibility they may break something totally material and useless in their house.

This never happened.

And they only make over $400,000 a would be a terrible hardship for them to replace some useless, unused piece of crap, right?

My ex-parents happened to live 10 miles from us (they currently live less than a mile from us). On their way home from work, they actually passed within 2 miles of our house. They never had any time to drop by and see their ONLY two grandchildren. They were “too busy”. They had to get home to the dogs, who have an outside doggie door (and alcohol).

I asked my sister:

Me: “Why is it that with a beach house and a houseboat and a basement full of arcade games, you NEVER ONCE invited me or your nephews over?”
Ex-Sister (stammering, sighing, takes a deep exasperated breath) : “Because YOU were in SCHOOL!!”
Me: “click” I hung up on her. I became an orphaned only child.

I had just graduated with a B.S in criminal justice in May of the previous year. I don’t work at all during the summer. Even if I was in school, it would have been nice to have been asked. The boys and I spent the summer of 2005 at home together, me being recently divorced, just having graduated…a single mom with limited funds.

Thanks for the invite to the lake and the beach house...

Even college students get breaks, but one thing you need to understand, my sister likes to ‘party’. Kids get in the way of that. Her boyfriend is also an only child so these are the only kids she will ever be an Aunt to.

My ex-husband only gets to have the boys for 25 hours during the Christmas Holidays. During that time, he takes them to my ex-parents house so they can give them money, because that is all they care about. (Funny, they hated him when we were married.) My boys have cell phones, they never call, they like to pretend to be doting grandparents with a $1000 check at Christmas. My ex-sister is there too, ready with her checks. Awwww, how sweet, a regular Norman Rockefeller Christmas.

Outcome of the Case:

In the mail today was a cute little “Save the Date” invitation.
Apparently, my sister is getting married in Jamaica later this year. On the back of the invitation,

Travel Information :

Resort is “all-inclusive and Adult Only”

It’s just as well, her only nephews are “in school” so why bother with an invitation?

my sig


The Daily Blonde said...

OMG...this is my story---well, parts of it and it just blows me away. UGH!!


Staci said...

I can totally understand and absolutely support when the family becomes ex-family!!

Terri said...

my phone was on silent...since yesterday!

Heather said...


((hugs)) for you, my dear.

We have ex-relatives like that as well. Like my husband's father and stepmother, who live less than 20 minutes away from us and who have not seen Kiddo - their ONLY grandchild - since her first birthday. (She is 5 and a half now, by the way.)

Some people's priorities are just totally, utterly, irretrievably effed up.


Ray Wilson said...

Tough situation to be in. I think that your ex-family needs to get a grip on what is important in life. When people choose monetary possessions over people they choosing to dissolve relationships.

David said...

I can totally empathize with your ex-family issues. I am adopted - one of my father's nieces informed me one thanksgiving that she saw no reason for me to be interested in the family tree that she was researching since I wasn't really a part of the family. When not one single relative disagreed with her, I decided they were not my family and were not to be a part of my life.

Their loss, I say.


Anonymous said...

Oh. Lisa. Oh my.

Your family takes the prize for Totally In Denial About What We're Doing So Effing Badly.

That's saying something, since my relations have recently taken to faking their own deaths (I only wish I was making that up).

Stacey said...

How is this possible? Was there a parenting class that your ex-parents and mine took together?? I am glad I missed it! They see their only in-state grandkids 2 or 3 times a year for an hour and live 30 mins away. so they can give them their $10 for b-days or Christmas. And something is always wrong with me when I let them know they are screwing up their priorities...The American Legion post and beer before family...Oh, well their loss.
I am supposed to be executor of the will...hee, hee, hee.
Take care...don't let any guilt get you.

Bon Don said...

Cheers to being an Orphan... I understand completly!

Anonymous said...

you mean the artist norman rockwell or the affluent family of rockefeller?

Twisted Lisa said...

It was a play on both names.

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