Friday, November 14, 2008

I'm afraid of the Trash Man

Not in the "oooooh he's so scary" way but, "what if I threw it away?" in true pack rat form.

I was an Army Brat and we usually had to move once a year. This meant throwing everything away that was not absolutely necessary. There are things from my childhood I wish I still had but have been thrown away. So, when I landed in one spot, it was difficult for me to get rid of anything.

After we landed and left the military, it was easier for everyone to hoard things. My parents never threw away (still don't) magazines. I have finally broken myself of that madness! Who needs to keep a magazine? I don't even have time to read the ones I get now!

Let's face it, you will NEVER do the project that you adore in that magazine that is stuffed away in the desk drawer.

When I got married 2 years ago, I was living in a house I had been in for 15 years with my ex-husband. It was full to the brim with 'stuff'. In order to mesh 2 households together, I had to I did. And there are only a few things I regret...*sniff*

So, whenever I lose something, I immediately go to the trash. I have no idea why but I am always afraid it has been thrown away by accident.

I couldn't find my Sony headphones, I looked everywhere. I ended up digging through the trash only to find them on the backseat of my car...I SWEAR I looked there 100 times!

Once I did find something in the trash. I had cleaned my diamond earrings and left them in a paper towel to dry (1.5 carats) Some friends came over, bringing wine and the next morning, the paper towel was gone....and yes, this time they were in the garbage.

Recently, I was getting ready to do a writing assignment for school. It was Sunday, we had been given 2 weeks to do it, and it was due Monday. (Why do now what you can put off til the last minute?) You tell my kids that I said that and I will kick your ass!

So, I gather all my materials and I go to retrieve my assignment sheet in my car, and it's NOT THERE! Oh my God! What do I do??? We cleaned my car out! I go to the TRASH, (the big bin outside) and I start to dig through it. No Assignment Sheet to be found.

I am now officially in Panic Mode.

After a liter of sweat, I calmly retraced my steps and drove to the school where my bus is parked and found it securely placed in my clipboard. Whew!

And then I came home to shower the 'trashy' feel off me and I started working on the assignment.

In class the next night, The Evil One called role, and as he did, walked around the room and glanced, YES GLANCED, at everyone's paper.

He truly is The Evil One.

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ciara said...

i do that, too...i think i throw stuff in the trash all the time when in reality it's mostly hidden somewhere in the clutter that is called my office. i was a navy brat, so i know exactly what you were talking about.

hey, funny you mention purging your house...when i married my current husband, he was living in the house he had with his ex wife (he had the house 12 yrs). then i had all my stuff. so purging needed to be done. so i made him purge the bed they shared, the nasty couches covered in stinky dog hair and tore up because dog would scratch it before layin in the spot he scratched (dog had run of house basically since hubby & his son gone for 12 or more hours a day). i had him purge almost everything he owned lmao one good thing though...we got new furniture & bed out of it. weeeee! lol

Legal Diva said...

My kids threw my keys in the trash once. I looked for hours. Horrible stuff.

I am afraid of those like the Evil One. I am so afraid, I can't even talk about them- I think they will know even if I never said their name!