Criminal

I know I have joked about being treated like a criminal. Now I am not joking.

I found myself in Opelika today after dropping off some things that my son forgot to take with him. I thought, "Hey, I have my coupons, I need to go to Target, and it's right here on the left."

I went in for 2 things: Scotch Fur Fighter, Cranergy.

They didn't have the Fur Fighter so I ended up with 2 Cranergys. I had 4 coupons, 2 Manufacturer coupons and 2 Target coupons. I know you can already see the problem.

The young, little, blonde, cashier looked at all my coupons and had a meltdown. "You can only use 2."

While we are waiting for the manager to show up, an older man walks up and asks the cashier if he can open a package of underwear. She said, "Don't you know your size?"

"Yes, I know my size I want to see how long they are," he replied. (They were boxer briefs)

Cashier girl calls a manager on the radio since no one had shown up and asks her about the underwear. "Yes, he can open the package," says the voice in the radio.

Now she explains my problem. "This customer bought 2 things and she wants to use 4 coupons." (are you feeling my pain yet?)"She can only use 2," said the radio voice.

Blondie looks at me and I say, "Explain it to her using these EXACT words, she has 2 manufacturer coupons and 2 store coupons." She repeats what I said.

The voice over the radio says,"Oh, yeah, well scan them, have you tried to scan them? See if they will scan. She can use them."

Beep - $1.00
Beep - $1.00
Beep - $1.00
Beep - $1.00

"That will be $2.30," she said as she was punching the keys on her register. I get out the exact change and she turns around and motions for the Security Guard.

Yes, you read that right...the SECURITY GUARD.

She explains to him and shows him MY COUPONS. Now, I'M PISSED.

"WHAT PART OF THIS DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND??? THE COMPUTER TOOK MY COUPONS AND YOU SAID IT WOULD BE $2.30????" Yes, I think my voice was raised.

She looks at the security guard and he nods and she unlocks her register and says, "$2.30" I hand her the money, take my receipt and 2 "stolen" Cranergys and head straight for the door. On my way out I see a man with "Trainer" on his ID badge. I asked him if he was responsible for training the cashiers. He said he was and I pointed to Blondie and told him that he needs to train her again and show her the Target Coupon Policy. He apologizes and I head out the door to get back on the road to Hoover.

I promise, I start out nice. I smile. I ask, "How are you today?"
Do I look like a criminal?